My husband, Rick, is working really hard in our basement to make a playroom/man cave. Tonight he informed me that I need to get rid of all the baby toys-bouncy seats, exersaucers, etc... I asked him if he is sure that he doesn't want any more children? He replied, quite emphatically, that he is definitely done. The problem is that I don't know if I am.
Let me clarify. I am almost 37 years old and a huge part of me is completely satisfied with the two little beauties that I currently have. Not to mention, my first and only pregnancy was not a walk in the park. Sophie's water broke at 21 weeks and I spent 7 weeks on hospitalized bed rest. Oh, and another 12 in the NICU. So I have to consider if I'd really want to take that chance again. I know that emotionally I couldn't go through that ordeal again.
I think I am having trouble with the fact that I will never have another child. I'll never have another chance to enjoy a "normal" pregnancy. I won't get a "do-over." Deep down, I'm very grateful for my daughters. They are miracles and are the sweetest little ones you'd ever want to meet. But I will always feel like I failed at pregnancy because they came so early. I guess what I really want is a chance to "get it right." Not really the best reason to bring another human being into this world.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Back Story
I wanted to start a blog about my life as the mother of twin girls. So, I searched a few different sites and found out that I already have a blog. It was called Maratto Twins and the last time I updated it was on September 8, 2008. Makes sense considering that my life changed forever on September 30, 2008. I was exactly 21 weeks pregnant when my daughter, Sophie's, amniotic sac ruptured. I spent 7 weeks on hospitalized bed rest. Every day I was told that it was very unlikely that Sophie would make it. They said that her twin, Lindsay, had a shot but not a good one.
I'm happy to say that on November 17, 2008, I delivered both girls via emergency C-Section. Sophie weighed in at 2lbs, 5oz. and Lindsay was 1lb, 13oz. Sophie was not breathing and had no sign of life at birth. They worked very hard on her and she was intubated and taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Lindsay's only issue was that she was so tiny.
Two hours after I had given birth, I was taken into the NICU to see my babies. I was told Lindsay would be fine and then the doctor looked at Sophie and said, "This one, won't make it." She said this as she made a slashing sign across her neck. Nice, huh?
Don't worry, I am one of those lucky people who had the "happily ever after" ending. I'm proud to say that both girls are now 14 months old and healthy as can be. They proved everyone wrong.
There is so much more to this whole saga that I will add in other posts throughout the year. It's too long and too overwhelming to type it all in now. Just know that miracles do happen.
I'm happy to say that on November 17, 2008, I delivered both girls via emergency C-Section. Sophie weighed in at 2lbs, 5oz. and Lindsay was 1lb, 13oz. Sophie was not breathing and had no sign of life at birth. They worked very hard on her and she was intubated and taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Lindsay's only issue was that she was so tiny.
Two hours after I had given birth, I was taken into the NICU to see my babies. I was told Lindsay would be fine and then the doctor looked at Sophie and said, "This one, won't make it." She said this as she made a slashing sign across her neck. Nice, huh?
Don't worry, I am one of those lucky people who had the "happily ever after" ending. I'm proud to say that both girls are now 14 months old and healthy as can be. They proved everyone wrong.
There is so much more to this whole saga that I will add in other posts throughout the year. It's too long and too overwhelming to type it all in now. Just know that miracles do happen.
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